On Parasocial Relationships
*A research paper exploring the history and psychology of Parasocial relationships
A topic that has been brought to light recently is that of parasocial relationships. Are they being represented fairly, or being blown out of proportion? The actual definition of a parasocial relationship is a one sided, imaginary friendship between a media consumer and a media personality. Person A knows Person B, but Person B has no idea Person A exists. Connection to these media personas in our lives is seen as a spectrum. On the low end, there is basic fandom, and on the high end, there is what is known as celebrity worship, where the figure is seen as a god or deity. Falling somewhere in the middle is parasocial relationships, where someone is more than just a casual fan but not quite a “stan”, or an extremely obsessive, enthusiastic and devoted fan. This phrase and phenomenon can feel rather new, however there is a longer and often looked over history of the phrase that is entrenched in fan culture throughout history. For decades, researchers have been looking into how this kind of relationship affects both the consumer and the performer, trying to determine once and for all if this kind of behavior is healthy or unhealthy.
Although this kind of behavior can be traced back to ancient Rome when spectators would fawn over public speakers, the phrase was only coined in 1956 by Donald Horton and R. Richard Wohl (The psychology of Parasocial relationships). Around this point in history, many homes started to have their own televisions to watch their favorite newscasters, late night hosts, and other performers. Rather than listening to these performers' voices on the radio like before, people can see these people “face to face”. According to Bradly Bond of the University of San Diego, we process new faces the same way, whether we see those faces in person or on a screen (The psychology of Parasocial relationships). So, back when Elvis and The Beatles would perform on television, people would start to form parasocial relationships with them. When this type of relationship was first being studied in the 1980s, there were two main categories of parasocial relationship: newscaster and soap opera. It was found that many of the people in a parasocial relationship were middle aged to elderly. This was most likely due to the social isolation often faced at this stage in life (Parasocial Relationships: How Admiring a Celeb Might Be Healthy). As time went on and technology evolved, the general public had more access to their favorite media personalities. Social media and Youtube gives us a way to directly comment to the performers and for the performers to talk to us “directly”.
Parasocial attachment theory suggests some people are more prone to forming parasocial relationships because of their attachment style (The psychology of Parasocial relationships). Attachment styles describe how you relate to people and relationships and they have to do with how you bonded with your primary caregiver. There are four styles: secure, avoidant, anxious, and disorganized. Someone with a more avoidant style, where they don’t need to rely or feel a strong connection to others to have self esteem and believe they are component, don’t tend to develop strong parasocial relationships. Someone with an anxious style, who needs constant connection and validation from others, tends to have at least a wider variety of parasocial relationships (The psychology of Parasocial relationships). There is also something called the parasocial compensation hypothesis which is the idea that people use parasocial relationships to compensate for the lack of real life relationships. Research shows that people who feel lonely, socially isolated, or have social anxiety may develop more intense parasocial relationships (The psychology of Parasocial relationships). Rivalry is also considered a relationship, making celebrity bashing, cancel culture, and trolling a form of parasocial relationship. The hate towards others is a way of validating oneself in this case. Turning the negativity outward parasocially keeps it from turning back to the self (Para-social Relationships: Are They Healthy?). Turning on a beloved figure in the act of idealization and devaluation can result in a parasocial relationship. Idealization is the mental process of attributing overly positive qualities to another person as a way of coping with anxiety by protecting the person from emotional conflicts that might emerge in a relationship allowing them to keep the fantasy of the idealized in tact. On the flip side, devaluation is a defense mechanism that is used when a person characterizes themselves, an object, or another person as completely flawed, worthless, or as having exaggerated negative qualities (Mbowe).
Parasocial relationships can vary significantly across different cultures due to factors like social norms, media consumption patterns, and the level of accessibility provided by celebrities. While research on parasocial relationships is expanding, cross-cultural studies are still needed to fully understand the nuances of this type of connection though societies. These types of relationships are starting to be studied and compared across cultures at an increasing rate. Especially with the rise of globalization via media accessibility blurring cultural boundaries. Some cultures have well-established fan clubs with organized activities and hierarchies, establishing stronger parasocial connections among fans. In collectivist cultures, parasocial relationships might be influenced by the desire to belong to a larger community of fans, fostering strong bonds within fan groups and a heightened sense of shared identity. While in individualistic cultures, parasocial relationships might be more focused on personal identification with a celebrity, and with fans seeking out media figures who align with their own values or aspirations (Dinkha, Juliet, et al). Japanese idol groups often cultivate a very specific image and persona, with fans feeling a strong connection based on their perceived purity and dedication to their fans. With its highly engaged fan communities, K-pop stars often actively interact with fans through social media and live streams, fostering a strong sense of parasocial connection. In Western societies, parasocial relationships might be more focused on following celebrities' personal lives through tabloids and social media, with a less structured fan engagement compared to some Asian cultures (Dinkah, Juliet, et al).
It isn’t uncommon for media consumers to form parasocial relationships not only with their favorite media personality, but with their favorite person’s romantic partner and relationship. The consumers get overly invested, whether it’s in support, opposition, or pure entertainment value. This too, dates back decades. Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton got married in 1964. They were always more of a spectacle together than they were apart. They got divorced in 1974, remarried in 1975, and divorced again in 1976. People would do anything to catch a glimpse of them together (Le). A different type of celebrity couple spectacle was the “love triangle” between Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, and Jennifer Aniston. Pitt and Aniston were married from 2000 to 2005. Soon after their split, Pitt and Jolie started dating. The public deemed it too soon and claimed they must’ve had an affair. The public began taking sides and hard stances on the relationships of people they never met. Aniston and Jolie had to keep proving they were the right kind of woman even though Pitt didn’t have to prove he was the right kind of anything (Le). Then there is the personal identity crafting factor. People like comedian John Mulaney and Youtube personality Ned Fulmer had a brand of loving their wives and/or being the ultimate family man. Both have been in alleged cheating scandals and at least Mulaney’s marriage ending in divorce. The public was broken hearted at these men that were deemed the good guys fall from grace. They also felt the need to comment on these strangers' relationships and even go after the wives and the “other women” involved (Le). When fiction matters more than fact, media consumers create imaginary relationships between media personalities, or “ships”. One Direction’s Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson fell victim to this kind of parasocial connection to their friendship. Tomlinson claims the “Larry” shippers hurt his friendship with Styles, feeling that they were always being analyzed and surveilled. Fans often get fixated on the sexuality of their media personalities. They feel so connected and get invested in a way where they feel owed openness about topics such as sexuality. This kind of push from fans can force celebrities out of the closet. Heartstopper star Kit Conner plays a bisexual teen realizing his sexuality in the show. Fans accused him of “queerbaiting”, or insinuating being a part of the LGBTQ+ community without actually being queer for some kind of personal gain. Connor ended up coming out to dispel the accusations but felt incredibly violated (Le). Sometimes media consumers cannot separate onscreen chemistry from real chemistry. Sometimes onscreen couples continue to act out their chemistry in press interviews to sell the show or movie and the public latches on. Sometimes celebrities get into relationships for PR reasons, whether it's to sell something or curate their image. When studios started to put in “morality clauses” in the mid-20th century, lavender marriages became increasingly popular. A lavender marriage is a male/female mixed orientation marriage, undertaken as a marriage of convenience to conceal the socially stigmatized sexual orientation of one or both partners (Le).
When it comes to fans latching onto a star parasocially, only to turn on them when they do one thing they don’t like, the perfect case study of this is Chappel Roan. Roan is a singer/songwriter who has been in the industry for a couple of years. She only really had a cult following until about the beginning of 2024. From February to April of this year, her Spotify audience grew by 500% (The Chappell Roan Paradox). People were interested in her unique aesthetic and connected to her lesbian identity and outspoken nature. Her popularity continued to grow over the summer, bringing in record breaking crowds on the festival circuit. However, with the flick of a switch, people turned on her, devalued her. There are three main reasons that attribute to this anger: she asked fans to be more respectful of her, her loved ones, and her time; she refused to endorse Kamala Harris for president even though she was going to vote for her; and she canceled shows at the last minute to look after her health (The Chappell Roan Paradox). Pretty and mild and reasonable things when it comes to cancelable offences. It was more of the way she said it then the actual content. She would make these points when upset over some social media outlet or another. Those apps feel more intimate and those connected parasocially feel more personally attacked. She hasn’t had the time to adjust to the spotlight and backlash that follows from how fast she rose, so she starts a cycle of emotions based posting, backlash, and more posting. Media consumers feel owed polish even though they beg for vulnerability, but when they get it, they lash out (The Chappell Roan Paradox). With that being said, a 2019 survey from Fobes by Hill-HarrisX states that 65% of respondents said that political endorsements from Hollywood celebrities have no bearing on their voting decisions. More surprising, 24% said that celebrity endorsements would make them less likely to vote for the star’s preferred candidate (The Dangers of Parasocial Relationships & Celebrity Activism). This proves that Chappell fans weren’t looking for direction when it comes to politics, they were looking for their idol to express the same opinions that they already have and making sure she didn’t have any “cancelable” ones.
Generally speaking, parasocial relationships are depicted rather negatively. Parasocial relationships, when taken too far, start to take the place of real life relationships. When the media personality takes up more mental space and time than real life relationships and tasks, it veers quickly into unhealthy territory. This kind of relationship can contribute to anxiety, loneliness, and social isolation. Parasocial relationships can be linked with social media addiction, negative self comparison, and unrealistic expectations of oneself or a romantic partner (The psychology of Parasocial relationships). In extreme cases, and when parasocial relationships cross the line into worship territory, boundaries can be crossed and the personality in question can feel unsafe.
Parasocial relationships can also be fairly healthy and beneficial, especially if the media consumer is self aware of the fact that they are in this kind of relationship. Parasocial relationships can improve personal development and wellbeing. Having a role model who shares advice with the world that is taken when needed can be really helpful for young people. These relationships can be effective in reducing prejudices and beliefs in stereotypes by representing different perspectives, cultures, and identities. The community that fandoms create can help facilitate real life relationships, and meet like minded people who might come from different backgrounds. Parasocial relationships can help with identity formation and developing autonomy in adolescents (The psychology of Parasocial relationships). They can also inspire creativity in the form of fanart and fanfiction.
Something that is not often considered is if parasocial relationships work in reverse. Creators can feel like they have a one way relationship with the idea of their audience. Their idea of what their audience might not be the full truth. While the real audience does know the creators, the idea of the audience doesn't as it is somewhat fictional. There is a “core” that holds them together but everyone is different for varying reasons, although they are more similar than the general public. They feel a responsibility to make them happy and not disappoint them (Green). Taylor Swift even engages in this kind of relationship, which perpetuates her fans parasocial relationship with her. She has invited fans to her house for an early release party for her album and baked for them. Swift has said in interviews that she feels like she benefits from this relationship as much as her fans.
On a personal level, I can say that I engage in parasocial relationships, to a degree. For example, my favorite band is Green Day and has been for as long as I can remember. At this point their music is a comfort and a catharsis. I have so many memories attached to their music, including a handful of truly incredible concerts. Green Day is something big that me and my mom bond over, too. I don’t know if we would have developed the same kind of relationship if we didn’t start loving the same music. Over the years of listening to this band, I’ve picked up tidbits of information on them from interviews both old and new, social media, and so on. I’ve also sought out some behind the scenes on how they make the music I love. In doing all of this, you start to learn about the band members and their personalities. It starts to feel like you know them for real. I am not generally obsessive when it comes to media, so that is where that level of parasocial relationship ends for me. I think this kind of relationship has affected me more so on an indirect level. What I mean by this is I witness and am surrounded by other people’s obsessions both in person and online. It is all day everyday with the headlines and tweets and conversations that I have nothing to add to. Whereas my Green Day parasocial relationship isn’t something I think about often. Maybe when I’m excited for a tour or new album (and that usually occurs around the same time). I’ve realized that even if you aren’t in this type of relationship, or at least not with Pop Star X, you still feel the effects of it just by knowing someone with one, or absorbing the information through osmosis online.
It is estimated that about 51% of Americans have been in parasocial relationships though only 16% will actually admit to it (Parasocial Relationships: How Admiring a Celeb Might Be Healthy). Parasocial relationships, while having the ability to be negative are given an overwhelmingly bad reputation. They have the ability to be incredibly positive and healthy. Most people have been in this kind of relationship without realizing, or they do and are just embarrassed or ashamed. There’s a judgement around fandom and “fangirling” that make people attribute idol worship to parasocial relationships. There’s a long history to these relationships and it continues to evolve. The pros and cons will also change with the nature of the relationships and media landscape. It seems there is no definitive answer of whether or not parasocial relationships are bad, like most things, the answer is: it depends.
Works Cited
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“The Dangers of Parasocial Relationships & Celebrity Activism: A Video Essay.” YouTube, Carla’s Calling!, www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sR5Ukk4_RM. Accessed 8 Dec. 2024.
Dinkha, Juliet, et al. Attachment Styles and Parasocial Relationships: A Collectivist Society Perspective . 2015. Accessed 9 Dec. 2024.
Green, Hank. “We Need to Talk about Sarapocial Relationships.” YouTube, vlogbrothers, www.youtube.com/watch?v=igyeRKJJZI4&t=259s. Accessed 28 Nov. 2024.
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Mbowe, Khadija. “Parasocial Relationships Are Getting Toxic & Abusive.” YouTube, Khadija Mbowe, www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLKg_RSaQAA&t=12s. Accessed 28 Nov. 2024.
“Para-Social Relationships: Are They Healthy?” YouTube, AIB, www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXP0Bx6_Zuc. Accessed 27 Nov. 2024.
“Parasocial Relationships: How Admiring a Celeb Might Be Healthy.” YouTube, TIME, www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur0dv2NfJYE. Accessed 27 Nov. 2024.
“The Psychology of Parasocial Relationships.” PBS SoCal, www.pbssocal.org/shows/above-noise/episodes/psychology-parasocial-relationships-ag5klp. Accessed 27 Nov. 2024.
